how did I ever get here????

Today has been 4 months since you left me daddy. Man...how I never thought I would get through 4 days..then the 4 weeks but now....4 months later. How has the time passed by. Not a day goes by that I do not think of you and cry. Not one day! I know your here watching over me and listening to me when I need to have a chat with ya. Sometimes I wish I had the direct line to you but I have settled with what I have.
Hannah made it through her graduation day as we all did without you here. She was happy and sooo beautiful. When she did her reading on stage she spoke with elegance and pride. You would have loved to hear her speak. Although you would not have understood a word of it...it was in french...but still....she sounded smart!! And there were times though the ceremony that I had wished I was not there. It was LONG and a little boring. I know you would not have tolerated that very well..just like me. And supper was crowded and so much noise. I am your daughter. I am the same way around crowds and the noise. I know that your heart was in the right place when you said you wanted to come out here. I am also sure you had no idea how is was really going to be. And the heat that we have had lately you also would not be liking. Mom is a trooper though. She is managing the heat and storms quite well. I think she is happy that the service is over with. She has now graduated from High School. Your first born granddaughter has completed her schooling, like you would have put it.
Hannah and mom at the supper. She was so happy that mom came out. Oh daddy you should have seen her face that morning and the tears falling down her cheeks. When she seen mom standing in the kitchen she probably thought she was dreaming. You couldn't have made her more happy. Mom having the dollars to still come out made graduation special even though you were not here.

Her father daughter dance. Hannah had also planned to be dancing with you that night. I told her that I doubted you would but you know what...she said grampy will for me!! I bet you would have too!! She seemed to think that she had you wrapped around her finger and when you came she would have had you dancing with her. Who was I to spoil her dreams!!

What else can I talk to you about?? Well....I am not sure what you are trying to tell me in my dreams about you or what happenings are going on around my house. Is it that you are letting me know that I am ok to be here???? that your here with me and that I do not have to be in Yarmouth to be with you?? I am confused. I can not get a clear thought about what I am seeing or feeling. Mom does not go in my room. It smells just like you. I am not sure how or even why but I open the door...say hello to you under my breath..talk to you if I need to then walk back out. I still have my lamp light on just in case you stop by to see me. And today I shut the fireplace screen that I know I never opened nor mom did and Dominique and Elmer said they did not either. What is that all about??? I can't burn the house down...its electric!!!! anyway..just letting you klnow that we are catching the little things strang that are going on.

This would have been a very exausting trip for you. I know that now. I also know you would have not tolerated the heat well. Hannah has lots of things lined up for mom to see and do this comming week. I am working and on Tuesday we are having a big BBQ with salads and all the fixings for Canada Day! Your missing all the food. Good eats here!!

I guess I just was wanting to let you know that I was thinking of ya today. Letting you know that tonight I will look into the night sky and hopefully see the stars and moon and noteing to myself that your up there smiling down on me and that I am seeing them with you. I take it all in. Everything!! I never miss anything around me that can bring me some peace. I am also working on making some of my dreams come true. You wrote to me once on how I should enjoy my hobbies and have fun with them. Well...I am doing just that! I am taking your advice. There a only a few things that I am pining for in my life. I am working on achieving them. You would be happy with me for trying. That is what I am going to do.

I do miss your letters to me. I have lots and mom has been reading them too. We're sad. We miss you as does everyone that was close to you. You made us happy and I miss your laugh and chuckle. I am taking a more close look at the changing of the seasons and how the earth changes with them. You've got the best view..... Your probably seeing it all differently too.

Miss ya! See you tonight. Love Tan xoxo