This past summer, while my computer was not working, something happened and I guess now would be a good time to share it will you all. Well at least now that I am in therapy with everyone that reads my blog!! Ha ha!!
This past summer I went and had my nails done and also booked an appointment for eyebrow waxing right after. Nails looked amazing by the way!! Anyway...while the lady was prepping me..you know getting you laying back, pulling your front hair out of your face, and etc...etc.... She passes me a very small mirror to show and tell her about where and what you would like done. OMG!!! I had the mirror in my hand and could not believe my eyes. I couldn't speak....I started to cry and sat up and passed her the mirror. Said..I'm sorry for wasting your time and I ended up still paying for my slotted time as it was booked by me and she could have booked someone else.
The moment the mirrow showed me the reflection was heartbreaking. All I could see was my eyes, forhead , and nose. And at that very moment it was not even mine. I seen my dads face. What the *^%&^% was I doing. I could not change him. How could I alter him. I have my dads eyebrows. The nose and even the birthmark on the side right by my eye is the same one daddy has. I cried. Paid for the waxing I never got and said I was sorry to the ethtician and drove all the way home upset. Somethings hit ya like you've just rammed yourself into a brick wall. I never though that something could alter my life is such a horrific way. All the little girls out there that are daddy's girls will all know what I am talking about!! Maybe not yet but in time...you will all understand.
There...therapy session over for today. Yesterday and friend and I went and drove Hannah into Brandon and we puttered around the Wal-Mart and then the Sobeys while in the city. I had a great day. Laughing and embarrasing Hannah(always a highlight of mine) and just living that day. The past 8 days have not been so great. I went with Elmer to Alberta last week. Still thinking it is good for me to get out of the house and not be alone....NOT HELPING!! I am not sure what it is about trucking but it hurts me more. I am alone in the truck. Too much time to think. Not enough space to hide when I am crying. I read another book though while I was away. That was a bonus even though the reast of the trip was not.
I work today and tomorrow evening and the beginning of the week was days. Next week....OFF!!!!!! Yahooie. Elmer asked me if I was going with him......UM I think not!! I need to focus on a few things at home.
chat later,
1 comment:
Sorry you had that moment. Keep up your blogging therapy. It helps. I still wish you would have been able to come here. Take care
Miss ya
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