Since February 29th...

My faith has been tested.As many of you know I am having a very difficult time dealing with the death of my daddy.I still cry everyday,I want him to still be here with me. Just to call home and hear his voice, to have him give me advice on a primitive antique I am looking for or wanting to purchase, to have him come to Manitoba and see where I was living and see all the treasures he had sent to me.
I am mad at whoever decides to take our loved ones away from us. I am mad at him for not fighting harder to stay in this world with me.I am mad at myself for not calling home more and for not sending him special little parcels in the mail. I guess I thought we would always have another day to do that.
I have had so very many people tell me that he is with me. He is watching over me and guiding me when I am needing his help. Do I believe this??? Part of me wants to, and another part of me thinks it is a bunch of hooie.
On March 1st...the very next day after receiving the terrible, heart wrenching news from Mom...I went to go get fuel in the van as it was giving cold for us that night. A beautiful huge rainbow was in the western sky as I was driving down the highway. I could see every single colour in it. It was bright and vibrant.Was it daddy telling me in a cosmic way that he was here with me?? Rainbows are something we have had in common for a very long time and deep in my heart I believe that he is here with me somehow.I needed to believe that at that very moment.
So on my way home from Nova Scotia.......when I had lost all of my faith again and did not want to come back to Manitoba.....Something appeared on the wall of the airplane. Was ir daddy again telling me that everything was going to be ok and that he was withme??? God I hope so cause at this point it is the only thing I have to help me get through everyday. There was a rainbow on the wall in front of my seat. It was small but still so beautiful and you could see all the colours so very clear.So..while I was wiping tears from falling down my cheeks I managed to snap some pictures. That rainbow was on the wall all the way from Halifax till we started our decent into Toronto.I want to believe...I need to believe....I do believe that he is here with me. For some reason these rainbows are appearing for me to see when I am at my ultimate low. Enjoy the pictures. I wanted to share them with you today. Another really bad morning for me and for some reason this has picked me up to face another day. Keep well everyone!!